| A quick note |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|01:12 pm] |
Sorry for the radio silence... I've spent the past few weeks trying to pull my life together--in a good way, not a bad way. I got a new job at the beginning of that, one that's really promising, but between that and a bunch of social obligations, the weeks have melted away. I'm still trying to restructure this new life to include things like thinking and writing and whatnot, but I'm hoping to start posting meaningful things again soon! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2009|03:53 pm] |
Alice is across the country and won't be back until Saturday.
One of our cats is missing.
This week is sucking so far.
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| SNIKT ME SNIKT ME SNIKT ME |
[May. 15th, 2009|10:24 am] |
eug [10:04:03 AM]: i can already tell this is going to be a great day
eug [10:05:40 AM]: some guy tried to road rage me on the offramp here eug [10:05:51 AM]: he was weaving through traffic in his accord eug [10:06:09 AM]: so i followed him fast (not that fast, he slowed down like a motherfucker for turns) off the ramp eug [10:06:29 AM]: he went to the middle lane, i went to the right lane to go my way, but i heard him yell something as i went by eug [10:06:39 AM]: so i stopped (there was a car in front of me anyway) and looked over as he crept up eug [10:06:48 AM]: he started yelling that i'm a cocksucker eug [10:06:50 AM]: flipping me off eug [10:07:05 AM]: was like "oh look at me, i've got a big car!" eug [10:07:11 AM]: i looked thoughtful, smiled and waved eug [10:07:14 AM]: he kept yelling eug [10:07:37 AM]: that i should go home, and that i should see what happens if we get out of our cars eug [10:07:40 AM]: i was like OOH eug [10:07:49 AM]: looked eager and pointed over to the side of the road eug [10:08:01 AM]: he was like fuck you, i'll kick your gooky (lol) ass eug [10:08:08 AM]: so i rolled down my window and started telling him to do it eug [10:08:16 AM]: and come on, let's go (DEADPOOL HAHAHA) eug [10:08:21 AM]: and kept gesturing to the right side of the road eug [10:08:25 AM]: come on, let's do it! eug [10:08:29 AM]: he just kept yelling at didn't move eug [10:08:42 AM]: then i told him to "keep talking, bitch" and drove off eug [10:09:38 AM]: this was like a mid-40s white guy, btw eug [10:09:40 AM]: with a moustache ryan [10:10:34 AM]: hahaha ryan [10:10:35 AM]: aww man ryan [10:10:48 AM]: i wish you had demolished someone on the side of the road on the way to work eug [10:10:56 AM]: that would have been hilariously awesome eug [10:11:11 AM]: i was thinking of either actually fighting him and thrashing the living shit out of him eug [10:11:22 AM]: or calmly getting out of my car, taking a picture of his license plate, and calling the cops eug [10:12:14 AM]: the gook thing pissed me off eug [10:12:19 AM]: i mean if you're going to be racist, at least get it right
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eug [10:17:53 AM]: now i feel like leaving work and going and getting into a fight |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 14th, 2009|04:07 pm] |
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Sometimes I feel like I don’t have anyone I can really talk to. Like right now, when I’m really frustrated (as I have been most of my life) about this lack of focus and lack of motivation that I can’t get over. Everybody I talk to just dismisses it and tells me I should just do things and get the hell over it (and presumably myself), even my close friends, and even Alice. I’m thinking more seriously about therapy, but even if I thought it would actually help me, beyond telling me things I already know, I can’t afford that shit. So what the hell else do I have? So I guess the major problem is I have no drive. It’s just another phrase to describe lacking motivation, but yeah… so I have no drive. So I have to make myself have drive. But which comes first, having drive, or making myself have drive? Maybe I’m just interested in proving that this all isn’t my fault. That there isn’t something active I could be doing about it. Because that’s my premise… that it’s something beyond my control, or at least something massively difficult to overcome. Because otherwise I am just being lazy, and I am just pathetic. So what’s the next step, then, if my premise is wrong, and if I am just being lazy and I am just pathetic. I admit to myself that I’m lazy and pathetic, and I somehow make myself stop being lazy and pathetic. Just do it. The answer is the answer. I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry to all of the friends who have tried and failed to help me, who have been disgusted with me and tried to tell me and sent me long tirades about how I need to get off my ass and stop wasting my life, and mostly I’m sorry to myself… but when I sit here feeling alone and disconnected and desperate, trying to choke down that rising, buzzing hum of heartrate and anxiety and mood chemicals that makes me want to strangle myself before the sedentary and the frenetic tear my brain apart—yeah, knowing that to fix it, I just have to fix it… that doesn’t really help me. Fuck. Yeah, go cry about it, you little bitch. Pathetic. If I sit and think about it, what the lazy-and-pathetic theory is telling me is that to fix my problem, I need to have the will and the desire to fix it. That’s what not being lazy is… having the will and desire to do things. I can’t believe that’s all I need, because I can feel the will and desire that I feel every minute of those useless hours I spend every day fucking around. And I can’t convey the strength of those to you, so you won’t ever believe me when I say: that’s not the answer. And so you get sick of my shit, tell me to stop being lazy and get over it, and I feel a little bit more depressed and lonely and disconnected and lazy and pathetic and useless, and the cycle continues. |
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| Yes, we have no bananas. |
[May. 4th, 2009|10:18 pm] |
Alice and I ran in the rain again today. We both started cramping up pretty badly, so we kept it to a nice and slow 1.5 miles (4:54, 9:37, 16:13). I haven't really decided the details about this week's running Eugchievement, but here goes....
EUGCHIEVEMENT - Run at least 1.5 miles 5 times this week. Unlocks: One purchase of <$25. |
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| Run run run run |
[May. 3rd, 2009|04:08 pm] |
Well, I didn't run on Friday. I did run today, though, and in the rain, no less! I kept it to one mile (4:22, 9:23) due to the wetness, but I'm still relatively proud of myself. I did more running this week than I ever have in my life, high school PE included! Pretty good for a fat, weight-lifting book-and-computer man! Specific details notwithstanding, I feel pretty good about declaring:
EUGCHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! Run at least 1 mile every weekday this week.
YOU GOT : PERMISSION TO BUY GOG.COM'S ON-SALE OLD FPS GAMES!
Also, thanks for the encouragement and advice, guys. :) |
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| REGRESSION |
[Apr. 30th, 2009|08:12 pm] |
The good news is I was faster today. My first half-mile lap was 4:36, my second was 9:48, and my third was 15:16. The bad news is that I didn't make it to the fourth lap! My calves were killing me. I guess I might need rest or something, after this week of whirlwind (for me) running. Also, Alice didn't run with me again, as she's feeling sick and has homework to do. Also, I had some fried rice fairly soon before running. But dammit anyway. :(
Also a slight change to the Eugchievement (not that any one you care)... instead of The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai, I'm going to reward myself with the Apogee FPSes on gog.com, since they're on sale this weekend. I was going to let myself buy both if I kept up the 2 miles/day pace through the end of the work week, but I guess that isn't happening. :( |
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| a leo on my desk |
[Apr. 29th, 2009|08:12 pm] |
Alice did not run with me today. :( I ran by myself, though, and ran two miles again! And what's more, I cut my total time by almost two full minutes! Half-miles of: 4:38, 9:51, 15:45, 20:36. Go me!
EUGCHEIVEMENT PROGRESS - Ran at least 1 mile 3/5 weekdays this week. |
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| i know you can't tell |
[Apr. 29th, 2009|08:29 am] |
We ran 2 miles yesterday! 16:38 at the 1.5 mile mark, a minute less than the day before, on to a total of 22:28. I'm not breaking any speed records, obviously, but I'm feeling pretty proud that I can still run two miles at all, whatsoever. By the way, two miles is the most I've ever run in my life. Not that I've never done it before now, but I've never run more than two miles at once. Let's see if I can change that! |
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| got nothing against you and surely i'll miss you |
[Apr. 27th, 2009|07:40 pm] |
Alice and I just ran 1.5mi (according to Google Maps)! It took us 17:50 with a couple of <10s breaks. I feel all proud, despite the fact that it's really quite crappy. It's a start, though!
I've been thinking for a while about posting achievements (yeah, yeah) for myself, and giving myself some kind of reward for getting them. I already determined to try and run at least 1 mile every weekday this week, so that might as well be the first one! Looks like the mileage won't be an issue, but it'll still be hard getting myself to actually get off my butt and get out there four more times this week. I can use this to try and curb my impulse buying/eating out, too... no doing either unless I hit the proper goal! Hmm.
EUGCHIEVEMENT - Run at least 1 mile every weekday this week. Unlocks : Buy The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai on XBLA. |
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| restlessness is my nemesis, it's hard to really chill and sit still, commit it to page |
[Apr. 21st, 2009|11:59 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | add, alice, andy, asparagus, beth, briandump, cbr600rr, diablo 2, earth defense force 2017, exercise, far cry 2, fieldrunners, flight control, focus, galcon, iphone, learning, motorcycle, ryan, street fighter 4, the brief wondrous life of oscar wao, thunderhill, tomb raider: anniversary, twitter, video games | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Santa Cruz, CA | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
Man... Twitter has really obliterated my LJ posting habits! You were right, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ferahgo!
Maybe part of it is because I can't seem to make myself have coherent strings of related thoughts these days. According to the Internet, I have nearly all of the symptoms of ADD!
I really wish I could focus on things. I love to learn new things, and more and more I think I'm happiest when I'm figuring out new stuff I haven't seen before. Well actually, I think I'm happiest when I'm driving really fast on a twisty road/track, but that isn't relevant here. I just spent a little time reading the Wikipedia article on asparagus, and it was great.
Anyway, if I could focus on things, I could actually learn new things thoroughly, instead of just dabbling in them for about ten seconds before getting bored.
Life is pretty decent these days, what with the financial situation getting stable, the plethora of friends and activities and entertainments, and the Alice. Even if she does make me go on walks because she thinks I'm fat. :(
Also, I'm going to go ride Thunderhill backwards in a few weeks! It'll be my first trackday on the CBR600RR, and I'll be riding with some Davis friends, so that'll be nice.
I've been playing lots of iPhone games. Well, I've been playing three iPhone games. I guess that isn't really lots. Fieldrunners, Flight Control and Galcon are pretty fun. I've also started playing Tomb Raider: Anniversary and Far Cry 2, and I've been putting in a little Street Fighter 4 time, but not as much as I'd like. I started playing Diablo 2 with Alice, inspired by Beth and Andy. Boy, that's a lot of games. Oh yeah, and there's also Earth Defense Force 2017 with Ryan. That game is ridiculous and awesome.
I read The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. Thanks, Beth and Andy, it was a good book which I liked!
Okay, I think I'm done for now. |
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| Wat the wat |
[Apr. 5th, 2009|07:43 pm] |
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Acquire and use a lawnmower.
Alice's parents gave us their old lawnmower today. I borrowed my dad's SUV, tossed it in the back (with some other gardening stuff, including Alice's birthday presents of flowers, herbs, and a couple of pots), and carted it all down to Santa Cruz. The lawnmower is around 16 years old, but it's got a 4hp Briggs and Stratton 4-stroke. I was surprised, since I was expecting a 2-stroke. It was a nice surprise though, since now we can just use pump gas. Half a gallon of 87 octane, a moment to figure out the proper direction for the choke/throttle, and she started right up in a single pull. It's funny that I get the same kind of thrill from any engined thing, whether it's a car, motorcycle, or lawnmower. I was pondering ways to tinker with it... hah.
In other news, I have been thinking about video game playing philosophy. I want to be more hardcore and play everything on harder difficulty settings and take pride in achievements and challenges and such. It's not like I'm lacking the ability (if I practice). But I also want to just pick up and play whatever I feel like at a given moment and just be satisfied with having fun at that moment. I'm such a strange mix of casual and driven.
Alice is trying to ban me from introspection. |
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| Public Service Eugnouncement |
[Mar. 28th, 2009|06:56 pm] |
I have returned from Taiwan. Regular broadcasts will now resume.
I have also decided NOT to catch up on my friends page, for better or worse. WHAT. |
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| Today I bought a Lamborghini Gallardo. |
[Mar. 15th, 2009|07:08 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | battlestar galactica, braindump, cold mountain, dawn of war 2, empire: total war, harvest: massive assault, how i met your mother, ikkitousen, miner dig deep, monster's den: book of dread, robokill, shuffle!, street fighter 4, the big bang theory, the office, the space game, video games, watchmen | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Santa Cruz, CA | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
Time for another braindump!
Dawn of War II is still rocking my and Ryan's socks off. We are nearing the end on the second-to-hardest difficulty, and I'm regretting not playing it on the hardest difficulty. We both want to do so, but at least for me, the thought of playing through all of that again so soon is... daunting. The game is enjoyable as hell, but I think I'm ready for a break, ready for some time to tend to the other games we haven't been playing while the Blood Ravens have been tearing it up.
Street Fighter 4 is great, but it's highlighting some of my big fighting game flaws. I can usually beat everybody I've played in person so far, but I have no illusions about that being any great sample of skilled Street Fighter players. I tried playing on PSN for the first time the other day, and I ended up winning only 1 out of 8 matches. One of those non-wins was my opponent disconnecting after I won one round closely, and I'd say only two of the rest were anywhere near close. The rest were rapes. So all that is building the case that my SF game is solid in the basics, but nowhere near where it could be. The problem is that I'm not really improving, at least not in the time I've put into the game so far. I'm just relying on old skills and resting on my mediocre laurels. That combined with my fear of losing means that I'll probably paralyze myself if I ever have to play someone more skilled in real life. This has always been my problem... I love fighting games, but I'm not really all that great at them, and I'm a really bad loser. I really need to either A) sit down and train myself to be REALLY good or B) figure out how to just enjoy myself regardless of what's going on in the game.
I finished up watching Ikkitousen, and it was cheesily entertaining to the end. I'm not sure that I'll track down the subsequent seasons, though... there's other, better fare out there to take up my time.
Case in point, I watched the first episode of Shuffle! and it was great. It's cheesy popcorn anime in a different way than Ikkitousen, but somehow it pulls it off better. Maybe it has just that modicum of extra subtlety that lets it pass.
I am taking a long time to read Cold Mountain, which sucks, because there are a bunch of other books crowding my brainspace and vying for attention. It isn't that I don't like the book--I do--but I just can't seem to sit down and focus on it for very long. Oh well... maybe the upcoming Taiwan trip will let me finally finish it off. I know I'm going to need to bring at least five books, in addition to electronic entertainments. This is where a Kindle would come in handy, I suppose.
Battlestar Galactica is leading up to its final moments, and I'm not sure I like the direction it's going. I'll have to wait and see what they actually do with it though... I guess BSG HAS been anything but predictable.
Bones has continued to delight Alice and myself. We're about halfway into the third season now (writer's strike season), and the quality of the show has been pretty consistently A- level. I dock it some points for occasional visual crappiness... strange scene transitions, ham-fisted framing shots, and consistently TERRIBLE CG and green-screening lose it some points.
We've still been keeping up with the usual shows, The Office, The Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother. All of these are still being solidly entertaining as well.
I've been playing a bit of Harvest: Massive Assault, which I bought on Steam for a nice, cheap price. It's a pretty simple resource-gathering/tower-defense game, and its flexibility of game modes is what makes me like it more than usual. They have a "Casual" gametype in which no enemy attacks are scripted. You simply build and gather to your heart's content, and at any time you wish, you can select any enemy type and start placing them wherever you like on the map. A similar non-sandbox gametype is "Waves", in which there are ten pre-set, large waves of enemies that you can trigger at any time, in any order (each subsequent wave you trigger gets multiplied in number by a certain amount, so the difficulty ramps up regardless of the order you choose). The idea is to beat all 10 waves in as short a time as possible, but since I don't really have anyone to compete with, I'm just using it as a more-interesting sandbox mode.
I've also been playing a fair number of free/cheap games from various sources, such as Robokill, Miner Dig Deep, The Space Game (flash knockoff of the above Harvest: Massive Assault), and Monster's Den: Book of Dread. I wonder why these keep grabbing my attention better than more complex games that I have available. For example, I recently acquired Empire: Total War. The Total War games have never been my favorite things in the world, since the real-time battles are not my forte, but I do quite enjoy the campaigns. That said, I've been playing random casual games instead of stepping into the campaign of Empire. WTF, Eug?
I've been having a hankering for creative work lately. I need to write a poem or draw a picture or something. I have some ideas for music. I want to write some comics. I wish I had the focus to actually do any of this.
I read Watchmen for the first time this past week, and it was great. It definitely deserves its reputation. I wonder if the movie will even come close to holding up. |
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| Personal Hero Meme |
[Mar. 15th, 2009|10:31 am] |
Tagged by ferahgo, as usual.
Instructions:
List ten people you admire as heros or role models in decreasing order of importance. Can be living or dead from any point in human history. Explain why you admire each one.
1. They have to be real people, not fictional characters.
2. They need to be relatively well-known.
3. Try to be creative. Answers like "Jesus" or "Obama" will be heartily mocked.
Put this in your LJ and tag five people.
Okay... I'm not going to bother tagging anybody, because no one reads this anyway. The usual people should do this. :D
This was tough for me, because I don't really go in for having personal heroes. Here goes nothing!
1) Rockapella - This is the first and foremost in the category of People Whose Careers Eugene Covets. They don't take themselves too seriously, which is awesome. If I could sing kids' game show theme songs, coffee commercial jingles, and serious arrangements all in one career, man, I'd be in heaven. Their songs ranged from fun to sad to loving, from Doorman of my Heart to Christmas Without You to I'll Walk With You, from Long Cool Woman to People Change to I'll Hear Your Voice. There are plenty of other fun and talented acapella groups out there, but Rockapella is the one that has my heart. <3
2) Boyz II Men - Their popularity and success have declined in recent years, but along with All 4 One, Boyz II Men was one of my first and strongest musical influences. Motownphilly? Lonely Heart? Thank You? Jezzebel? Water Runs Dry? 4 Seasons of Loneliness? Dear Mama? Doin' Just Fine? Oh Well? Time Will Reveal? They've given me over 15 years of touching songs that I can still bust out at the drop of a hat. A lot of people might laugh them off as cheap pop R&B (which is true), but this is music that made me want to sing. Boyz II Men was the primariy influence in a couple of friends and me forming our own group (which didn't really go anywhere, but that's neither here nor there), and I probably wouldn't sing now if it wasn't for them. If Rockapella is the ultimate incarnation of my musical influence, Boyz II Men was the original form.
3) Tupac Shakur - The more repressed half of my musicality is in rap music, which I know will be controversial on this particular list of friends. However, whatever you may think of rap or hip-hop in general, Tupac stood out from the gangsta rap crowd. As you delve deeper into the things he did and said, it became clear that he was an intelligent, compassionate and moral person trying to rise up out of the muck he was surrounded by. He wrote poetry, he loved women, family and friends deeply, and he wanted to see his people overcome their struggles. He showed a younger me that you could be thoughtful and emotional and still be a hardcore motherfucker. Not just that, but his music was damned good. For a young kid heartbroken by the world, Troublesome, Hellrazor, Open Fire, and et cetera ad infinitum were revelations. However uncomfortable I'm made by the hate it espoused, Hit 'Em Up was rage given musical form, which is really all I want to do as an artist: bring emotion to life in my work. Songs like Changes or Brenda's Got a Baby made me see that rap could be more than just ranting about killing people and doing drugs, and prepared my mind for further influence in that direction from the likes of The Roots, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, and Common. Tupac Shakur was the reason I wore gold chains (it's true, I did), the reason my friends consider me blacker than Ryan (he is an Oreo), and the reason I started rapping.
4) The Roots - I'm not into their recent work quite as much, but if Tupac was my hip-hop Boyz II Men, The Roots are my hip-hop Rockapella. A rap group that plays their music live, with real instruments? They're heavily jazz and bebop-influenced? AND their lyricism is skillful, intelligent, and socially progressive? SOLD. I've seen The Roots twice in concert, which is more than I can say for any other professional music act, given that I don't like concerts... I loved them that much. ?uestlove (yes, that's a question mark, it is intentional) not only gave me an innate love of afros, but things he did and said in regards to sound production made me really start thinking about recorded music being more than just playing instruments into microphones. Seeing him drum live also made me start thinking about showmanship as part of being a musician. Rahzel and Scratch made me want to learn to beatbox (which I still haven't done). Most of all, Black Thought and co. gave me a huge dose of lyrical inspiration, showing me alongside the aforementioned Mos Def, Talib Kweli, and Common that rap lyrics are poetry, and should be treated as such, and infused with as much emotion and intellect as possible. Ironically, if Tupac was the reason I started rapping, The Roots were the reason I stopped--they showed me that good rap should be so much more than I was able to do with it at the time.
5) Neil Gaiman - The only reason Neil and Warren Ellis only appear at #5 and #6 is that I want to be a singer more than I want to be a writer. Mr. Gaiman has exactly the kind of writing career I want... he writes everything from movies to graphic novels to books to short stories to poetry, and he writes them all well. He infuses all his stories and characters with depth, witticism, and fun, all while successfully keeping the balance between being deeply meaningful and intellectual, and not being too "literary" in the fearsome sense. His Stardust and American Gods are two of my favorite books ever. He also keeps a great communicative relationship going with his fans, which is something I'm not sure that I'd be able to do if I managed to become a successful author. Also noteworthy in this spot is Terry Pratchett, who loses out a bit by being silly... I'm not terribly good with the silly. I had a double-signed copy of their joint book Good Omens, but now it's gone, and I suspect it's in the hands of someone who I'll probably never talk to again. >:(
6) Warren Ellis - I think of Neil Gaiman as sort of a God-figure... dispensing wisdom from on high, looking out at the flawed world with a sense of weary fatherly love, being sad for its vices and misfortunes, but accepting it for what it is, a generally good and interesting place. If that's true, then Warren Ellis is Satan. He has the same sort of varied and successful writing career as NG, but does it with much more acid in his pen. Where Neil might write a story about a magical fairy creature in modern times that is brought low by our base societal mores in a terribly sad, yet poignantly beautiful way, Warren Ellis would write a story about a magical fairy creature that is driven insane by a cult of nymphomaniacs who inject a mixture of heroin and melted chocolate chips (only Hershey's will do) into their eyeballs in an attempt to commune with Marilyn Monroe's ghost for direction... Marilyn Monroe who tells them to use said magical fairy creature to practice their bukkake skills for their upcoming trip to Jayne Mansfield's grave, so they can dig up that bitch's body and give her tangible proof that Marilyn's success and fame were greater, in terms of liters of semen. Sorry, I got a little carried away there... that's what Warren Ellis does to you. His Transmetropolitan graphic novel series changed my life when I read it, and I wish I was filled with enough invective to be Spider Jerusalem, the protagonist. Warren Ellis is the intelligent hate-fucker of the world (i.e. one who hate-fucks the world... with his penis) who I desire to be, but failing that, applaud heartily.
7) Anyone who drives a car or rides a motorcycle in high-level motorsports, particularly F1 or MotoGP - There isn't terribly much depth to this one. There are only a few things I can see myself doing full-time and loving every moment of it, and one of them is driving/riding. If I could do that as my job and get fame and fortune for it, well, there's the dream! I don't even really watch or follow F1 or MotoGP or any of the others, though I enjoy a good race if I happen to see one... I just want their jobs. :D
8) Bill Gates - Sure, he's a great entrepeneur and technologist (maybe) and etc. etc. etc.... the reason he's on my list is his massive collection of moneyhats. Money may not buy happiness, but it sure as hell buys things that bring happiness. Not only does it let you afford great toys, but it also gets you security, freedom, and time. If I had all the freedom and time from not having to worry about making money, and if I had said money to buy more and more awesome toys, my life would be pretty much completely great. I am not one of those people who needs to find their Ultimate Meaning in life... I already have Alice and my personal hobbies for that. Give me monies!
9) Barack Hussein Obama - I know the instructions mentioned that answering Obama would be heartily mocked, but come on! This man single-handedly beat the nuclear terrorists that were planning to attack America, and he did it by defeating them with his bare hands! AK-47: 0, Good Ol' American Boxing: 1. Not only that, but he disarmed their nuke with nothing but a single pubic hair! Now that's what I call awesome. I mean seriously... this is a man who wasn't satisfied that the life he was born into was hard enough, so he chose to become Black for even greater struggle! HARDCORE. And if there's another man alive who can win a presidential election while completing a time-travel mission to stop 17 assassinations and simultaneously pleasure 46 women while still remaining within the bounds of Christian fidelity to his wife, I'd like to hear about it.
10) Alice Durand - Yeah, it might be cheesy to list my girlfriend as one of my heroes, but I have an actual reason for doing so. Alice is possessed of focus and drive that I can only dream of. My greatest personal flaw, in my view, is that I lack motivation, focus, and passion... I don't have any big driving force behind me making me go do awesome things. Alice has known for some time that she wanted a PhD in physics, and hasn't let other good possibilities deter her from her chosen goal. She knows what she wants, and she works hard to get it... I wish I could do that.
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| Happy Things (and also Sad Things) |
[Mar. 11th, 2009|03:15 pm] |
For my personal reference, a list of positive things I should remember to be happy about:
- I have Alice, who is wonderful and the light of my life.
- I have an awesome motorcycle that I love to ride.
- I have an awesome car that I love to drive.
- I live in a great place with great weather, a place that isn't TOO far from my friends, and has mountains and the ocean in arm's reach. It's also smack dab in the middle of FIVE road courses (RFR, Thunderhill, Infineon, Laguna Seca, Buttonwillow)!
- I have a job. It isn't ideal, and it doesn't completely pay the bills (yet), but I'm learning a lot from it, and I really, really like the flexibility. And of course, it's way, way better than nothing.
- I'm in decent shape. I could do much, much better, but I'm strong and robust enough to do lots of things and not suffer, and my health is probably pretty damned good. I can also pick up and get into better shape really fast (though I'm sure that won't last, so get on it, Eug!).
- I have good friends who I like a lot and have fun with, and who are good people I can rely on.
- I have lots of fun things to do and lots of easily-available entertainment... my non-work life would be completely fulfilling if I'd only let it.
- I have access to lots of information about basically anything, and I have the intelligence and creativity to learn and use it.
- I have fun and lovable pets to take care of and play with.
I'm going to do a cons list too, just because I was thinking about it, and it isn't very long:- My financial situation needs some fixin', though it's quite far from being dire.
- My friends are mostly too far away for me to spend as much time with them as I'd like.
- I have this mysterious lack of motivation to do anything whatsoever that I've failed to figure out for years and years.
- I'm not quite as applicably intelligent and creative as I would like to be... mostly the latter.
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| Bring On The Wonder |
[Feb. 26th, 2009|04:34 pm] |
I can’t see the stars anymore, living hereLet’s go to the hills where the outlines are clear Bring on the wonder, bring on the song I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long
I fell through the cracks at the end of our street Let’s go to the beach get the sun through our feet Bring on the wonder, bring on the song I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong We pushed you down deep in our souls for too long
I don’t have the time for a drink from the cup Let’s rest for a while ‘til our souls catch us up Bring on the wonder, bring on the song I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong We pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on Bring on the wonder, bring on the song I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long
--Susan Enan
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| Strange how hard it rains now |
[Feb. 26th, 2009|12:24 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | avitus, braindump, branding, dawn of war 2, ps3, ryan, street fighter 4, video games, website, xbox 360 | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | San Jose, CA | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
I heard a good metaphor just now: don't be like one of those cheap international buffets that has a hundred different kinds of food, but none that are actually really good. Keep focus on your main priorities, and do them really well. My boss was describing his own tendency to try and conflate too many different ideas into his own projects when doing research on other people's methods, but I think this metaphor fits my own personal life pretty well. It's just so hard, because there's so many different kinds of tasty food out there.... ;_;
I think I'm going to try and develop myself as a brand. What does that even mean, right? Well, I'm partway there with the "EugThinks" username being pretty universal. Maybe I should switch my website to that URL. I guess I have to actually do something with my website first, instead of just letting it rot.
I've decided on getting Street Fighter 4 for the PS3 instead of the Xbox 360. All the reasons I have for wanting it on the 360 (achievements, playing online with my friends (since only two of my friends have PS3s, and I think only one is getting the game for it), etc.) are going to end up being fairly trivial to me. They'd be nice perks, but the potential for controller disaster with the 360 is just too high. I know from experience that the PS3 controller at least won't make me want to kill myself, and even if I do end up getting an arcade stick in the future (unlikely), I don't think I'll miss the aforementioned 360 perks terribly much, especially since I don't see myself playing the game online very much. It's just more fun playing with others in person.
Dawn of War 2 is rocking my world. I've been playing it coop with Ryan, and it's epic and fun and occasionally hilarious. Avitus is the ruiner of worlds, by the way. |
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| Behind every door there's always you |
[Feb. 17th, 2009|03:13 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | alex, alice, aptos, battlestar galactica, bones, cafe brasil, chocolate, emily deschanel, food, house, ma maison, ninja gaiden 2, polenta, ryan, valentine's day | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Santa Cruz, CA | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
This was an entertaining weekend. Ryan and Alex came down on Saturday and we played some video games (or rather Ryan played Ninja Gaiden 2 while we watched), had dinner (Alice's shepherd's pie), went out for dessert (hot chocolates and such at Chocolate). We then watched Battlestar Galactica episodes, and it was glorious.
Alice and I had our Valentine's Day dinner on Sunday night at Ma Maison, a French restaurant in Aptos. It was pretty damned good. I had some roasted fois gras and tasty sea scallops with polenta, while Alice had French onion soup and duuuuuuuuuck. She had profiteroles for dessert (kind of like cream puffs, only with ice cream and chocolate sauce instead of the cream... so like an ice cream sundae on cream puff pastry!), while I had their special passionfruit custard thing. At least I think it was passionfruit. Tasty, either way.
Yesterday Alice's family came to visit and to celebrate her Dad's birthday. Alice made apple and pear tarts, which were tasty. We also went to Cafe Brasil for lunch, which is also tasty. Grilled chicken breast with polenta (hmm, I seem to like polenta) and an avocado shake... awesome.
Alice and I have also been watching a lot of Bones. This show is great, like House with a socially inept woman instead of a misanthropic cripple. Emily Deschanel is hot. I think she may have to become my newest wife. |
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| Ugh - or - The Workout Session What Sucked A Lot |
[Feb. 9th, 2009|06:26 pm] |
Man, what a terrible session. I mean it was my first time lifting since sometime in fall, so I wasn't expecting a monster session, but this was just disgraceful. From the very first set I felt weak and tremulous, and it didn't get any better. I'm pretty undercarbed today, so that's part of it, and my sleep wasn't too great last night, and working without a spotter is terrible with these short arms of mine... but I won't make any more excuses. Behold the sheer crapulence of my workout today:
- Bench Press - 1 x 10 x 165lbs, 1 x 10 x 175lbs, 1 x 5 x 185lbs (failure)
- Incline Press - 1 x 8 x 115lbs, 1 x 5 x 115lbs
- Twisted Dumbbell Curls - 1 x 10 x 30lbs, 1 x 5 x 30lbs
- Dips - 1 x 8 x body weight
I mean seriously, what the hell is that crap? I benched heavier than my moderately conservative goal for today, but then I failed my third set halfway through, and it only got worse. For reference, here were my goals for the day:- Bench Press - 1 x 10 x 155lbs, 1 x 10 x 165lbs, 1 x 10 x 175lbs
- Incline Press - 1 x 10 x 135lbs, 1 x 10 x 145lbs, 1 x 10 x 155lbs
- Decline Press - 1 x 10 x 135lbs, 1 x 10 x 145lbs, 1 x 10 x 155lbs
- Lat Pulldowns - 1 x 10 x 40lbs, 1 x 10 x 50lbs, 1 x 10 x 60lbs
- Twisted Dumbbell Curls - 3 x 10 x 30lbs
- Dips 3 x 10 x body weight
Sigh. On the positive side of things, I think I like these Twisted Dumbbell Curls better than straight-arm curls. It doesn't feel like it hits quite as hard, but it's definitely a more complete exercise, and I think I'll benefit a lot from having a complex arm lift instead of just a bunch of isolated lifts.
Tomorrow I'm starting up HIIT again, this time with a damned interval timer so I don't have to count seconds in my head while sprinting. I'm also going to get my carb intake and overall meal timing in line to try and avoid this weak crap happening again. |
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